While You Were Offline: Sure, Try to Summon Mexican Demons

Much like Will Smith, this week has felt like we're all living in a world flipped, turned upside down. (Sadly, most of us are bereft of our own DJ Jazzy Jeffs.) One of the biggest political stories in the world right now is about soccer, of all things, and meanwhile, kids are trying to summon demons using pencils and Vine. Obviously, all of this can be tracked back to Sweden winning the Eurovision Song Contest, but I might be biased on that front. For those who've managed to miss out on the unusual goings-on over the last seven days, read on and enjoy the highlights from the Weekly World Wide Web.

What Happened: A U.S. investigation into corruption in soccer's international governing body FIFA leads to multiple arrests, revelations of hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of alleged bribes and Vladimir Putin making sassy comments about American international overreach. Again, this is all from an investigation into sports.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: The football world was rocked this week by the U.S. Justice Department announcement that it had made a 47-count indictment against FIFA, the governing body of international soccer, charging 14 people with "racketeering, wire fraud and money laundering conspiracies, among other offenses" as the result of a years-long investigation. Within hours, Swiss authorities arrested seven top FIFA officials, revealing that they, too, were investigating reports of illegal activity in the awarding of World Cup locations and other events. (For those wondering what's going on, this might help.)

Response to the investigations from soccer fans might not have been what you expected:

Sepp Blatter, the man in charge of FIFA, refused calls to resign, saying that the buck actually stopped elsewhere and it's not as if it's his job to know what's happening in his organization. Meanwhile major FIFA sponsors got nervous about the news, and with good reason; last year, they collectively poured $177 million into the organization. One sponsor, Nike, might even be directly involved in the corruption, according to reports.

The U.S. investigation and subsequent arrests led, surprisingly, to sabre-rattling from Russian President Vladimir Putin, who described events as "yet another obvious attempt to spread [U.S.] jurisdiction to other [countries]." Russia, it should be noted, is set to host the World Cup in 2018, one of the decisions under scrutiny for possible bribery and corruption. (The following World Cup in 2022 is to be held in Qatar, another disputed decision and especially when the astonishing number of worker deaths since the decision was announced is factored in.) For what it's worth, the U.S. State Department has told Russia that the investigation "has nothing to do with Russia." Once again: this is all happening over sports.

The Takeaway: As I write, FIFA is voting on whether to keep Blatter as the president of the organization, while many have threatened a strike or walkout on some level if he stays. One thing's for sure; this is the most exciting soccer has seemed to a lot of people possibly ever.

What Happened: The Charlie Charlie Challenge has taken social media by storm, as those who know better try to conjure up a demon with two pencils and lots of gullibility.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, YouTube, blogs, media think pieces

__What Really Happened:__It sounds like the start of a really bad horror movie, but it's really happening; kids across America are taking up something called the Charlie Charlie Challenge, which involves pencils, paper and the attempt to summon a Mexican demon. Activity peaked over the holiday weekend with more than 800,000 tweets on Monday alone, but this wasn't just a Twitter phenomenon; it was also massive on Instagram and Vine, with many of the videos being collected for latecomers on YouTube:

As excited media coverage breathlessly reported on this dumb new craze, The Washington Post tracked down where it had come from, noting fascinatingly that a late April news report in the Dominician province of Hato Mayor about the Satanic qualities of the game led to it sweeping the Dominican Republic, only for it to jump from the Spanish-speaking web to the English-speaking web last weekend thanks to a 17-year-old girl in Georgia.

Of course, not everyone was convinced:

Well, of course it's fake; as the BBC sensibly pointed out, Mexican demons don't really have names like "Charlie" to begin with. Plus, you know, that thing moving the pencils? It's called gravity.

The Takeaway: Somewhere, H.P. Lovecraft is shaking his head in shame (while wondering what he could've done with Twitter given the opportunity).

What Happened: Promotion for next week's episode of The Bachelorette teased that two potential suitors had found love with each other—only for it to be revealed to be a ratings stunt.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: It seemed too good to be true—for a reason, as it turned out. In a trailer for next week's episode of the ABC reality show The Bachelorette, it was teased that two of the contestants had fallen in love with each other, instead of planned object of affection Kaitlyn. Was this a chance for The Bachelorette to show that sexuality is a fluid, evolving thing and that we all exist on a spectrum? Admittedly, the use of the phrase "Brokeback Bachelor" (because Brokeback Mountain, in case you didn't get it) wasn't promising.

Turns out, the cynicism was well-earned: it was a ratings stunt. As one site described it, the show "sinks even lower" as a result of the stunt, while Salon put it well: "The fact that the punchline here ends up being 'lol no homo'—and on a series whose host has openly said there would never be a gay Bachelor because it’s not 'a good business decision'—is a further slap in the face to viewers who have had to endure the most misogynist and retrograde season of the show yet." The reveal hasn't had the desired effect for ABC:

The Takeaway: It's almost impressive to see an already trashy show manage to seem even worse, so kudos to whoever thought this was anything other than a horribly offensive idea. Hey, Bachelor: that teased Amy Schumer takeover can't come soon enough.

What Happened: J.K. Rowling took on the Westboro Baptist Church on the issue of Ireland's historic gay marriage vote. It was, shall we say, magical.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: It's the smackdown you didn't even know you wanted. Following the gay marriage vote in Ireland last weekend, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling took to Twitter to celebrate:

However, her celebration was noticed by infamous bigots the Westboro Baptist Church, who couldn't help but respond:

Rowling couldn't let this lie:

It was the "Oh Snap" heard across the Internet, and something that elevated Rowling even further in the Internet pantheon of heroes:

The Takeaway: Harry would be proud (if he wasn't, you know, fictional). We certainly were.

What Happened: When fans heard that Tilda Swinton was in talks to star in Marvel's Doctor Strange, there was a lot of excitement… until they learned who she was in line to play.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter, blogs, media think pieces

What Really Happened: The news that Tilda Swinton is "in talks" to join the cast of Doctor Strange made a lot of people very happy when it broke earlier this week. But you know that saying about not being able to please all of the people all of the time…?

Swinton is in the running to play The Ancient One, a character traditionally male in the comic books; it's a casting that has many excited, not least of all because of the gender swap. However, the character is also traditionally Asian, which has led some to complain about the problems of replacing an Asian character with another white one:

For others, the problem was different: namely, shouldn't Tilda Swinton be playing the title role?

(Sorry, Benedict Cumberbatch; the fans apparently want you replaced. Hey, maybe you could play the Ancient One…)

The Takeaway: Screenwriter Gary Whitta might have had the best take on it, beyond the already stated concerns:

What Happened: Someone went to a comic book convention dressed as Kimmy Schmidt, and decided to recreate her iconic meeting with the off-brand Metal Hero Friend… using unsuspecting Iron Man cosplayers.

Where It Blew Up: Twitter

What Really Happened: Really, this doesn't need any more than the original tweet:

Okay, maybe it needs this:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Unbreakable Ellen Rose:

The Takeaway: We need more Ellie Kemper cosplayers, so this is very obviously a great thing. Between this and the Tina Fey Saturday Night Live action figure announced this week (There'll also be an accompanying Amy Poehler figure), this is clearly the time when nerd culture fully embraces Fey's projects. What's next? Tina writing a Star Wars spin-off? Think about it, Lucasfilm!