As the spate of comic movies continue to hit the big screen, we in the fanboy universe start to naturally speculate on who we'd like to see get the big-screen treatment next. While DC has lagged behind Marvel in the volume and quality of live-action comic-based films (though their animated ones are excellent for the most part), there are some heroes that could use the big-screen treatment, even if the production companies consider them second-tier characters, such as Aquaman.
As many of you may know from following me on Twitter, I have an unnatural love for all things Aquaman. While he's not my favorite comic hero, he's certainly at the top of my list in the DC Universe. I can't really explain why. Maybe it's the hook on his hand, maybe it's the underwater adventures that no other hero really has. Maybe it's because he's not Namor. Either way, as an Aquaman fan I'd love to see DC try to get an Aquaman movie made, but that probably will never become a reality. Here's ten reasons why DC and Warner Bros. will probably never produce an Aquaman movie.
1. It would require a massive budget.
Considering that most of Aquaman's world is underwater, and since Warner Bros. already stated he is a second tier character, there is no way he'd get the money required for all those underwater effects. We're talking Waterworld money, in the $200 million range or more. Unless a major director with a serious love for our hook-handed hero gets involved, which is always possible.
2. James Cameron already directed a fake Aquaman movie.
Speaking about big time directors, Cameron already directed Aquaman starring Adrien Grenier's fictional Vincent Chase in HBO's Entourage. That kind of rules out the reality of it ever happening in real life due to some sort of alternate reality rule that may or may not exist. And while the movie was a huge success for Vincent Chase, I don't think casting Grenier as the muscled, blond god-like ocean hero would be a good call. Maybe he can play Aqualad.
3. Arthur Curry already hangs out in Smallville.
Alan Ritchson did a pretty good job of playing the younger version of Aquaman on the small screen, so why would Warner muck it up with casting someone different in the big screen version? Though now that Smallville is over, we might see Ritchson make the jump, but it's less than likely. Chances are the role would have to be recast, and Warner has already got the Superman reboot, Green Lantern 2, Wonder Woman and the Flash movies on the speculative docket. Ryan Reynolds can't play every role.
4. Warner Bros. only really cares about Batman and Superman.
They care about these two franchises so much that they are giving Superman another shot after Superman Returns (not a reboot) bombed at the box office. They figure rebooting that franchise is a better idea, similar to Christopher Nolan's Batman. Perhaps it is, but man, as a long time comics fan I'm freaking tired of origin stories. Introduce the character, make some assumptions and quick back-story and go. Aquaman could easily be written in to any DC movie - such as Hawkeye being introduced in Thor pre-empting a greater role in Avengers and a possible solo film.
5. Aquaman was brooding, troubled by his heritage and once had a harpoon for a hand.
He wasn't always that way. Up until the 1990s Aquaman was generally one of the more positive members of the Justice League. Then he loses his hand, becomes generally unhinged and attaches a harpoon to his hand. Then he gets in a fight with Lobo and decides to go shirtless with a gladiatorial manica, ditching the orange. Then S.T.A.R. Labs hooks him up with a new hand, which gets destroyed, then replaced by a golden hand that is all Inspector Gadget, which also eventually gets destroyed. Then some lady in a lake gives him a shape shifting water hand like the dude in Terminator 2. So, which hand model do you go with? Or just forget it and set the whole thing before all that madness, or after Brightest Day? Not to mention, Batman kind of already has the brooding market all locked up.
6. Aquaman's greatest power is talking to sea creatures.
Sure, he's got super-human strength and can swim really fast, but can he fly? Does he have unlimited resources and explosive toys? Speaking about Batman, the Bats once made Aquaman a suit he could wear on land that would keep him hydrated, but how functional is that in a major Earth-threatening battle? Any conflict written into an Aquaman movie would have to take place in or around the ocean, which limits script and storyline. However, if the movie is wholly centered in Atlantis perhaps then they could work in some explosions. Underwater explosions. And sharks with lasers.
7. Aquaman's greatest enemy is his half-brother.
That would be Orm Marius, known in super-villain circles as Ocean Master. Unfortunately for these two fated-to-fight half-siblings, Thor and Loki over in the Marvel universe have recently locked up the sibling battles in the movies. That means that screenwriters would have to defer to a lesser villain which means the mantle would go to The Black Manta. Though this might not be a bad thing as Manta really hates Aquaman. He once murdered a store full of his own customers to leave his day-to-day retirement as a fishmonger to resume trying to wax Aquaman. That's the dedication we would want for a super-villain.
8. Aquaman has a lame costume.
The green scaled pants and orange Under Armor is iconic to the ocean hero. Unfortunately, this isn't the bad-ass bullet-deflecting, tool and weapon hiding Batsuit, or the all-American uniform of Superman. In fact, for quite a while as mentioned earlier, Aquaman pretty much ran around shirtless. This would mean that whoever played the role wouldn't mind being half naked for most of the film. Yet whoever played Garth (Aqualad, Tempest, whatever), would have the benefit of a full body suit. You gotta earn that shirtless green pants look.
9. Pop culture thinks Aquaman sucks.
Then there is this scene from The Big Bang Theory in which Aquaman's pop culture reputation takes a big hit.
As for the "Dear Aquaman" segment on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, I'm not really sure if it helps or hurts. You decide.
10. Aquaman has never been the star.
From an off and on member of the Justice League, to having a comic series that has been on hiatus several times, Aquaman has always been second-tier. While characters like Thor over in the Marvel universe are also second tier, they haven't been subject to as much ridicule as Aquaman. From being lampooned by Cartoon Network Latin America, where Aquaman starred as a children's television series. It hurts even more that Aquaman was chosen as the lead for this seven episode program because the producers weren't allowed to use all the Super Friends.
Someday we might see Aquaman get his own movie franchise, then that'll be the time for another fanboy article casting the movie. Until then, the former hook handed hero will be the subject of pop culture ridicule. The good news for Aquaman: at least he's still relevant.
Image: Flickr User: jmv
