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God of War III seems to be the end of Kratos' story. That's probably for the best.
Now, now, put down the pitchforks. I am a fan and proponent of the God of War series. I thought the original game was nothing short of a revelation, a clarion call to fans of action-adventure games that we should accept nothing less than astonishing set pieces, uninterrupted level flow, a heart-pounding soundtrack and a perfect in-game camera.
I was barely able to voice a half-hearted complaint that the sequel served up more of the same, because more of the same was still better than practically everything else in the genre. I even enjoyed all 4.5 hours of the PSP game.
God of War III, released last month for the PlayStation 3, is still in the top tier of action games. But it is also the weakest console entry in the series by a mile. Like its predecessors, it's a fun action game lavished with a few years' worth of loving polish. But the level design is chaotic and disjointed. The gameplay struggles under its own weight, laden with far too many moves and button combos. And everything that was surprising in 2005 is predictable in 2010 – especially, but not limited to, the story.
Spoiler alert: Big God of War III spoilers follow.
Let's tackle that last thing first. God of War III has no plot. No, this is not a series known for its storylines, but at least the first game started us out not knowing much about Kratos and his problems, and slowly revealed them as we went along. At the end of God of War II, Kratos is seen riding a Titan up Mount Olympus1 on his way to kill Zeus. In God of War III he kills Zeus. The end.
Oh, on the way there he also kills several of the lesser gods in the Greek pantheon. He tears through them in the same way that Pac-Man eats dots. Actually, that's not entirely fair: At least Ms. Pac-Man had some semblance of a romantic subplot.
God of War III offers vague hints throughout the game that some kind of story might develop, and toward the end things do get a bit more complex, but by that time, we've spent seven hours or so indiscriminately killing people and it all just seems silly. Kratos cannot support a nuanced plot by this point. He's a tiny ball of muscles and hate who does not know how to use his inside voice and who has no way of interacting with any object, moving or stationary, that does not involve killing it.
In that way, God of War is the true heir to the classic arcade game, and there's something to be said for knowing where you come from. In large part, that clarity of purpose is what makes the game fun. But layering a story onto that type of gameplay is almost exactly like trying to staple a plot onto Asteroids. God of War managed to get one on there, but God of War III has nothing left up its sleeve. Kratos had one secret, and we already know it, and that's that.
And since Kratos isn't really going anywhere spiritually, he doesn't go much of anywhere physically, either. God of War III takes place entirely on Olympus. Now, Olympus is the home of the gods, so of course they've built a whole Wonka factory up there, each room filled with something completely different. So it's not monotonous. But it is chaotic.
Remember the trip through and out of Hades in the first game, and how it felt like an epic hero's journey with a destination? God of War III has no destination. You're there already. You jump around the chambers of Olympus haphazardly. Aphrodite's bedroom has a door in it that literally leads straight to Hell. The designers created a whole mess of disparate environments, then superglued them together in random order.
I remember getting pumped about God of War based purely on the press materials, which pitched it as a cross between the action of classic arcade-style games and the difficult puzzles of point-and-click adventures. Guess which feature turned out to have the most staying power? God of War III has, by my count, three puzzles: There are three moments in the game during which I had to stop, examine the environment and think carefully about how I was going to put things into place. Of these, one was fully optional. I'm not surprised that this is clearly what the audience wants (there's a reason it's called the lowest common denominator), but I am a little sad.
So we're left with platforming and combat, and since most people playing this game don't really seem to like 3-D platforming much either, we're left with combat. There's not too much combat, but there is way too much to do in combat. Kratos has four weapons. Three of them are variations on the chain-blades he's always packed. But they weren't varied enough for me to actually use the other two. Rounding out the weapon selection are the massive boxing gloves of doom from the PSP game. These are awesome and I used them quite a bit. All the game really needed were these and one (1) chain-blade variant.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Every weapon has its own magical attack, which you use by holding R2 and pressing the circle button. Weapons also have special attacks that you use by, um, holding the L1 button. Kratos also carries four different items into battle (the boots of Hermes, the head of Helios, etc.), which you use by holding ... L2? I think? I don't remember, because there's like a hundred different things to remember.
And somewhere along the line the designers realized that it was bothersome to make people remember, so every time you have to use a special attack, item or any of Kratos' many abilities, a big text box pops up onscreen telling you how to do it. And you read it, and you're like, "Oh, right, you press L1 plus the circle button to jack a harpy" and then you forget it until the next time it comes up.
Kratos has, God help me, a wall run (L2 plus X). Why does Kratos need a wall run? Kratos can climb walls. The God of War games have always been about trimming the fat from the design. That's why they're short – or, you know, why they were considered short in 2005 and are now the approximate length of most single-player action games. God of War III has lean level designs, but Kratos as a game character is overloaded with fat. It would have been a better game with half these items. It would have been an even better game with a third of them.
If this were a review, this is where I would give the game a relatively high score and prepare for the flood of comments asking me why the negative text doesn't match the number at the end. Fortunately, this isn't a review, so we don't have to deal with that. God of War III is a good game, certainly a superlative game in some crucial areas. I would be quite remiss if I did not make that clear.
But this series needs to be put to rest. Kratos figures this out and commits suicide at the end of the game, driving the Sword of Whatever It's Called through his scarred abdomen. Let's leave him dead. There is no question in my mind that Sony Computer Entertainment's Santa Monica division should endeavor to create another game that embraces the spirit of the first God of War: An over-the-top epic that overlays action with cinematic grandeur, every element best in its class. I have no doubt that it can.
What it should not attempt is another God of War sequel, because if there were truly nowhere else for the series to go besides adding more features and more grotesque death scenes, then the well is officially dry. Not the one defined by the creative energy of the team, but by the constraints of the series itself.
1No, that is not a sexual metaphor.
Image: Sony/Wired.com
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