How's this for a snack-time quandary: Doritos, Snickers, or methadone? The synthetic opiate is commonly used to quash the cravings of heroin junkies, but dispensing the stuff involves red tape, and there's always the risk that human error will lead to an overdose. So prisons in the UK are turning the task over to vending machines. Automated dispensers scan the fingerprints or irises of preauthorized cons, then squirt an individualized dose of the syrupy goo into a plastic cup. A watchful health care professional makes sure the prisoners swallow instead of cheek-pouching it for resale. "The treatment can only be given to the right person, at the right time, in the right dose," declares an official statement from the UK Department of Health.
At least 57 lockups have installed the machines so far. Conservative critics, of course, are in a tizzy. At a total price of some $6.5 million, they point out, installing the dispensers costs more than is being spent on abstinence programs. "Drug dependency is a real driver to crime," says member of Parliament Gary Streeter. "Providing methadone dispensers is merely managing the problem rather than solving it." Sheesh. Next thing you know, these killjoys will be trying to take away conjugal visits.
